sooo confused....

Because this is exactly how I'm feeling today.....WTF? Why are people so weird? Am I in the Twilight Zone? Is it opposite day?

Have I secretly been "jinxed"?

Johnny-Five is Alive

On Sunday morning I woke from a delightful rest, rolled over to check what time it was on my cell phone, and saw this monstrosity staring up at me. Impressed by it's likeness to the star of Short Circuit & Short Circuit 2, I decided to snap a photo and share it with the world.

Meet Johnny-Five, the all purpose hand-held personal massager. Settings include; "whoa...weird", "I'm really starting to get itchy", and "I think I just licked a light socket". Johnny is pretty good at working out the kinks in your scapulae, but I'd caution you against using him on your special parts, as he emits a burning smell when powered on for too long.

Not so celebratory, and not such a beautiful life...

Outside of the Al-Fakhora school in Jabaliya refugee camp, Gaza." If you are not ouraged, then you're not paying attention".

Cease Fire. Now.

Take some gansta out your lean...

July 19, 2008 San Juan, Puerto Rico - "Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room. His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

So this little gem of a news story came out in July of 08. Had I actually had a blog over the summer I would have written about it, in fact, it might have even been worth starting a blog over, but I was laying in corpse pose on the Baja coast for a month, so that ship sailed.

But there's no time like the present to take the opportunity to give you my opinion on the matter....so here it goes..."Hmmmmmm??" (pensive look on my face). My mind is wide open with exciting possibilities for my own wake. Chaturanga Dandasana?? Crow pose?? Or perhaps Ardha Chandrasana?

For those of you that end up outliving me...please make sure that when I go, I'm perched atop my Jade yoga mat in downward facing dog, and that my alignment is absolutely perfect.

J to the Dizzle

Homage to my friend J-Dizzle. One of the last few men left on this planet who will help you put your stiletto on, and then will proceed to buckle it for you. He's a man with an affinity for racial slurs, general tso's chicken, and Hummels (for those of you non-Italians reading this, Hummel's are small porcelain figurines depicting eastern European children. In old school Italian homes, they can often be found showcased in large glass cases, right next to the sofa that has been slip-covered in plastic. They are manufactured in Germany, and are overall pretty atrocious).

J-Dizzle is loud, unapologetic, and will call you cute pet nicknames like "cracker jack", "muffin top", or "fluffy". He knows all the words to every Babyface song ever sung, and he's not afraid to serenade you with them. He'll start your car for you when it's blustery cold, he'll brush your hair if you're sad and broken-hearted, and he'll make you a cd called "No Scrubs" featuring SWV, Mary J, TLC, Maxwell, and Color Me Badd.

He's the guy you were friends with in middle school that made you laugh so hard in math class that you peed your pants, and beat people up for calling you chubby. Only now he's in his mid-30's, but still just as fabulous.

Dirty 30...

So I'm officially 30 and lovin' life. I spent my birthday laying on a chaise lounge on South Beach next to one of my closest friends, coated in SPF 30 , and soaking up the sun. (Unlike in my 20's, I'm now concerned with things like sun damage and fine lines). After visually scanning the beach for hot men, we got to talking about the past, and all of the changes that have taken place in our lives over the years. And because the moment seemed appropriate - I suggested that we create a gratitude list, so that when we returned to the icy NY cold and starting slipping into a depression, we'd have something to bring us right back to that very moment of sheer bliss.

So here goes the first gratitude list of 2009 (but certainly not the last):
1. The opportunity to live my days free from war, disease, hunger and oppression.
2. The deep sense of peace and freedom that yoga has given me.
3. My recovery,and the wisdom that's come with it.
4. My beautiful family.
5. The opportunity to teach yoga to others every day.
6. My crazy quirky friends who live very close to my heart.
7. The courage to walk away when the expiration date is up.
8. Bananas, and other delightful Christmas presents.
9. The Nuva Ring.
10. Barack Obama.